Emotional strength is on everyone’s wish-list — or it should be.
Especially in 2021 when the world is struggling to come back from a pandemic and all it brought with it. Especially in times of uncertainty and ongoing change.
So if you only have one psychological goal for yourself, choose the one that will serve you best — cultivating emotional strength.
Emotional strength has multi-pronged benefits. It will help you cope with life’s disappointments and failures, ensure you persist through the toughest times and it will help you climb up out of whatever pit you find yourself in.
If only life came with an instruction manual.
You could just flip straight to the trouble shooting page whenever you got stuck down in the trenches, whenever you couldn’t figure out what to do or where to turn.
But maybe that would take away the fun? Most (or maybe all) of life’s intrigue comes down to the fact that there’s no absolute path — for anyone. That we’re all just picking our way over the rocks.
There’s no ideal strategy even though a lot of people make a lot of money out of pretending there is. …
This post is a free therapy session — or at least the start of one.
When I meet a new client we spend a few minutes on paperwork. Beyond the formalities, there’s a basic symptom checklist and a scale for measuring life satisfaction.
The life satisfaction scale is my favourite. That’s because it gives us such an easy inroad to the session. It looks like this:
(very dissatisfied)…………………………………………….(yahoo, loving it)
Obviously, you’re not going to see a lot of 10s in therapy or even coaching. …
Want a great relationship?
Or at least a better one than you have now?
It’s a fair aim. Not easy though, is it? Not when you’re busting ass at work, still folding laundry at midnight and that dishevelled person slumped on the couch in their sweatpants will still want to have sex when you’re done.
Ah relationships. I sometimes wonder how any two people stay together, ever. We all get stressed. We all have annoying bits. We all drive each other crazy. But, still, we feel compelled to try. …
Who would you most like to go to lunch with?
I know, weird question, but I got asked it recently. There were rules: It was a Lavish Lunch. You didn’t have to pay for it. You couldn’t choose your partner or family. Nor someone dead.
To be honest, I was fine with that. Why would I select my family for a lavish, free meal when I could have toast with them in the kitchen? And a dead person would make for a pretty quiet lunch.
But it made me think about who I admire. Being a therapist teaches you to…
“I like the bad girls,” my client said.
He was in therapy after his toxic relationship ended. The two years with his ex had taken a significant psychological toll. It had left him mildly depressed, anxious, almost traumatised.
At 33 he’d had three significant relationships, all of them unhealthy. Despite knowing that, he believed there was a high chance his next relationship would be the same.
“It’s like I’m a sucker for punishment. Why do I keep falling for the wrong women?” he said.
Good question. But we needed to explore: Was he drawn to a particular type of woman…
So you want to live big and bold?
Achieve great things? Or, you know, anything at all?
Then you’ll need to step up to the plate and play in the big arena. Which means you’ll have to stare down hard at the things that will threaten your dreams.
We all have bad habits. We all fall at their feet sometimes because THEY FEEL SO GOOD. But, in the end, an obsession with ciggies or porn or food or Netflix might not do us justice.
It might keep us stuck. It might make us envious of others who didn’t do those…
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People come to therapy to figure out who they are.
Sometimes, they’re not aware of this. They come through the door seeking relief from the stress, anxiety and pain they are feeling. Validation. A place to cry. Ways to cope. Strategies for feeling less overwhelmed, more fulfilled, calmer, happier.
But, beyond that, they want to know who they are. Which is a smart goal because the more you “get” yourself, the better you navigate the world and all the people in it. The better your quality of life.
So a large chunk of therapy is devoted to helping people get…