Published in On The Couch·3 days agoMember-onlyThe Secret to Being Your Own Best PsychologistThe only therapist you won’t — and can’t — fire. — My aim as a psychologist is to do myself out of a job. It’s to help people get to know themselves, to learn tools and tips to help them manage whatever life throws at them, and to live in the biggest, boldest ways they can. That doesn’t mean they must…Psychology5 min readPsychology5 min read
Published in On The Couch·6 days agoMember-only6 Things That Are “Bad” For You — and Why You Should Do ThemWhat the good, the bad and the ugly can teach us. — Many things are supposedly “bad” for us. We don’t need a lecture on them. We don’t need to be told not to stuff ourselves with unhealthy takeout, let our bodies atrophy, overload on alcohol, nicotine, drugs — substances that undermine our health. We don’t need to be told that too…Psychology5 min readPsychology5 min read
Published in On The Couch·Jan 27Member-only7 Signs You Have Obsessive Creative Disorder —and It’s a Good ThingIt’s possible to be highly creative without being a disastrous human. — “She’s just so unpredictable,” my client said. He was having problems with his highly creative boss who, besides being mega-talented, was difficult to work for. Actually, “difficult” was understating it. His boss was prone to wild mood swings and confusing emotional outbursts — tears, rage, blaming, guilting, finger-pointing — often…Inspiration5 min readInspiration5 min read
Published in On The Couch·Jan 25Member-onlyNothing Left in the Tank — How Do You Find Your Way BackYou can recover from burnout if you play smart. — “I no longer have enough in the tank.” Many of us feel that way about work from at times but we gained a high profile ally when New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern resigned from the country’s top political role. In an emotional announcement she said: “I know what this…Psychology4 min readPsychology4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Jan 22Member-onlyYour Destiny is Set in Childhood. Or Is That a Myth?How to know you’re on your own right path. — Your destiny is laid down in childhood, they say. Actually I’m not sure who says that. Possibly no-one, it’s just a cliché we’ve heard so often we believe it. It seems to me that your destiny can become clear to you at any age or stage — including your deathbed. …Inspiration4 min readInspiration4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Jan 19Member-onlyWe Need to Stop Psychoanalysing Prince HarryHe’s his own work in progress. — He’s damaged. He’s a hurt child. He’s a narcissist. He’s never got over his mother’s death. He has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He’s being controlled by his wife. If you follow Prince Harry — and even if you’ve tried to avoid it — you’ll be familiar with comments like these…Psychology4 min readPsychology4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Jan 16Member-onlyYou Don’t Learn Resilience. You Discover It.When the barn burns down, you may see the moon. — “Can you teach me to be more resilient?” my client asked. “No,” I said. (Hear me out, I’m not mean to my clients on purpose — especially when they have a genuine request.) “I can’t teach you resilience — but I can help you discover it.” Resilience is one of…Psychology4 min readPsychology4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Jan 12Member-onlyThe Simple Mindset Shift That Will Completely Change Your LifeFrom scarcity to abundance. — You want more from life. No shame in that. Most of us do, whether we admit it or not. More money, more power, more fame, more fans or followers, more friends, more time, more sex, more freedom, more peace — whatever. What we want “more of” is personal. But there’s…Psychology4 min readPsychology4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Jan 10Member-onlyWriters, Here’s How to Unleash Your Inner GeniusCome on, you know you have one. — Writers, this is your year. I know you. At least, I know you love to write. This post wouldn’t have caught your eye if you didn’t. I know you’re aching to turn all your thoughts into words, and release them out into the world. I know this because I have…Writing4 min readWriting4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Jan 9Member-onlyThe Quintessential Guide on Who to Date. And Who to Dump.Four steps to guide you. — First, a confession: I have mixed feelings about quintessential guides. For the record, quintessential means to represent a perfect or typical example of something. But as I psychologist I don’t buy into quintessential. I’m not sure there’s a typical way to do or be anything. People are too complex, too…Love5 min readLove5 min read
