Published in On The Couch·16 hours agoMember-onlyOh No, Not More Boring Advice About WellbeingPlease, we’ve had enough. — “We’d like to run a wellbeing session for our staff,” the CE said. So far, so good. Psychologists get lots of these requests. But she wasn’t finished. “I’m not sure how to say this…” there was a heavy pause on the end of the line “but we want it to…Health5 min readHealth5 min read
Published in On The Couch·3 days agoMember-onlyDon’t Try to Build Self-Esteem. Do These 6 Things Instead.Make sure your opinion of yourself is your own. — A young woman told me firmly she had low self-esteem. She said it as though it was a body part — essential to her being, like lungs or a heart. When I asked her how she knew this she told me a boy she lived with in foster care, who…Psychology5 min readPsychology5 min read
Published in On The Couch·Mar 16Member-onlyHow to Get Your Mojo Back — Take This One Week ChallengeEvery sunset is an opportunity to reset. — “I’ve lost my mojo.” “I need a life reboot.” “If I don’t shake things up I’ll go crazy.” As a psychologist, I hear these lines frequently. And there’s a whole lot more of it coming, as reports of burnout and mental health struggles hit record highs everywhere. Every life has…Inspiration5 min readInspiration5 min read
Published in On The Couch·Mar 13Member-onlyIntroversion: 6 Reasons It’s Your SuperpowerYou have a rich inner world. — “I’m a terrible introvert,” my client said. She described chronic difficulties with “being out in the world”, the pressure of having to be around, and engage with, other people. “I’m okay in short bursts,” she said. “But socially the clock is always ticking. I get to the point where I…Psychology4 min readPsychology4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Mar 9Member-only21 Signs Your Boss is a Narcissist — What It Means For Your CareerOMG I’m so tired of bullying stories. I want to hear these stories because I want to help the people who’re the targets of this behaviour. But as a psychologist I’m tired of (a) the amount of bullying that goes on in the workplace and (b) how frequently these bullies…Mental Health4 min readMental Health4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Mar 8Member-only8 Tips for Raising Feminist Kids“No-one does the blue and pink thing anymore.” — “I want my kids to be feminists,” my client said. She had a daughter (5) and a son (4). Their bedroom (they shared) was painted in neutral colours; they wore each other’s clothes; she let them play with the toys they drifted towards. She was happy with her efforts so…Psychology4 min readPsychology4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Mar 6Member-onlyExcellence is Not an Accident. It’s a Commitment to Three Things.Let your passion follow you. — Be so good they can’t ignore you, actor Steve Martin said. It’s a great line, it’s become self-help folklore. But it poses an interesting question: how do you do it? How do you achieve that kind of stand-out excellence? How do you become so good you can’t be overlooked? Don’t…Creativity4 min readCreativity4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Mar 2Member-onlyWhen You’re in Love — But There’s a 20-Year Age GapThere may not be a problem. Until there is. — Your best friend tells you there’s someone new in her life. “It’s serious,” she says, gushing down the phone. I can’t wait for the two of you to meet. “Spill the tea,” you say, settling in for a chat. She lives abroad so you haven’t caught up properly for a…Love4 min readLove4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Feb 27Member-onlyTo Be More Optimistic, Quit These 6 Destructive HabitsStare down the things that are holding you back. — “I’m a pessimist,” my client said. “I’m a glass-half-empty person. Actually, scrap that. Half the time I can’t even find a glass.” She had come to therapy to address her anxiety which she believed was largely connected to the doom and gloom state of the world. “Everywhere I look there’s…Psychology4 min readPsychology4 min read
Published in On The Couch·Feb 23Member-onlyDisaster Fatigue: Countering the Psychological TollThe four stages of emotional response — With disaster, comes exhaustion. First responders, under huge stress and with so much to do in the wake of a disaster, wear down. But exhaustion also takes hold in communities faced with the immense task of recovering their lives. When disaster strikes, it triggers an adrenalin rush that helps people…Psychology6 min readPsychology6 min read
