Do you have a shame wound? — You want to be successful. You have the ideas, the drive, the talent, the work ethic — persistence. There’s literally no reason for you not to reach the highest level in your field. Except this. It’s the one that shows up over and over in therapy; it’s the saboteur of…

Accepting the things you cannot change. — “I’m just not sure about him,” my client said. She’d been dating her partner for more than a year and he was keen for them to move in together. She loved him, he was a great guy in many ways — but his suggestion had lit up an orange light…

The masterskill of keeping your ego in a lockbox. — The confidence-humility cocktail is a winner. Many of the greatest leaders seamlessly combine the two. And, when they do, they leave no room for arguably the biggest trap of leadership — ego. This is not to say that great leaders don’t have egos. But they keep them in a lockbox…

Emotions are the powerhouse in relationships. Thoughts and behaviour matter too — of course — but emotions are what messes everyone up most because we can’t just “be” with them — we have to react to them. I know, we’re all encouraged to say how we feel — I acknowledge…

Even though it’s a dumb aim. — I listen politely when my clients say they want to find their passion. But I don’t encourage them. After years of working with people in therapy and coaching I can’t stand that aim. It causes too much misery. Because when they don’t “find” their passion or they lose interest in…

Leave a legacy you’re proud of. — Want to be rich and famous? To have a thriving six (or seven) figure business? To take to the stage before swooning fans? To be the star of a yet-to-be-born reality TV show? There’s no shame in chasing success, whatever your brand of it looks like. But — remember —…

A proven psychological model for starting over. — My client had been dumped by her partner of four years. She was emotional — obviously. From tears to outrage to just plain confusion. He’d tried to explain himself, but none of it seemed to make any sense. He just wanted out. There were a whole lot of logistics to…

To get to good, you need to quit the bad. — How can I be mentally stronger? It’s a FAQ in psychology. People want to know how to stand strong against all the challenges life throws at them. Or how to spare themselves from the pain of difficult emotions. Or at least know what to do with them when they flare. …

Don’t let it limit you. — My client, in his late 30s, was feeling stuck in his career. In his early 20s, he’d had some success right out of the gate as a bright young talent. But, five years in, he’d struggled with his steep career trajectory. He’d gone too far, too fast and was way…